If you thought scoring a PS5 in 2020 was a personality-building exercise in suffering, congratulations, Nintendo just dropped a sequel to that trauma.
The Switch 2 went up for preorder this week and the internet promptly lost its collective mind, with retailer sites buckling, queues stretching into the six-figure range, and grown adults refreshing pages like their retirement depended on it.
Let's be clear about what you're actually getting for your money.
The new console runs $449.99, and if you want the Mario Kart World bundle, that's $499.99.
That's a real jump from the original Switch's $299 launch, and Nintendo is betting you'll pay it because your current Switch has been wheezing through Tears of the Kingdom at 22 frames per second for two years now.
The hardware upgrades are legit, to be fair.
A 7.9-inch 1080p screen, 4K output when docked, 256GB of storage, and that new magnetic Joy-Con attachment situation that finally kills the drift-prone rail system.
Nintendo also added a dedicated GameChat button, because nothing says "family friendly" like listening to a twelve-year-old scream slurs in 4K.
The preorder chaos isn't some organic demand story, it's a masterclass in manufactured scarcity.
Retailers opened the floodgates with almost no warning, bots ate inventory in seconds, and Nintendo's own invite system feels like applying for a mortgage.
Meanwhile, eBay listings are already popping up at $800 and up, because of course they are.
And let's talk about the games, because the launch lineup is doing a lot of heavy lifting with very little muscle.
Mario Kart World looks fun, sure, but it's one flagship title and a bunch of ports.
Nintendo is asking you to drop five hundred bucks on promises and a hardware refresh, and that's a tough sell when your old Switch still plays 95% of the same library.
The backwards compatibility situation is also messier than Nintendo wants to admit.
Physical Switch 1 cartridges work, digital purchases mostly transfer, but a handful of titles have "compatibility issues" that Nintendo is being suspiciously vague about.
Translation: some of your favorites might run weird, and nobody's going to tell you which ones until after you've paid.
If you've got the cash and you're dying for 4K Zelda, sure, knock yourself out.
But if you're a normal person with a normal budget, waiting six months is the move.
The launch lineup will fill out, the scalpers will get stuck holding inventory, and Nintendo will probably announce a special edition you actually want.
The Switch 2 will almost certainly be great eventually.
Right now it's a $450 ticket to a website crash and a bot fight, and that's not a great look for a company that used to be the fun one. **Our take:** Nintendo nailed the hardware and fumbled the rollout, which is basically their brand at this point.
Final Thoughts
Wait for the dust to settle, because paying scalper prices to play Mario Kart slightly sharper is a hobby for people with more money than patience.