Let's pour one out for everyone who thought the Switch 2 launch would be different.
Within roughly eleven seconds of preorders going live, listings popped up on eBay at double the price, and the same bots that ruined the PS5 launch stretched their little robot legs and did it all over again.
If you somehow missed the chaos, here's the short version.
Retailers staggered their drops, sites crashed, and people who clicked "add to cart" got a spinning wheel of death instead of a console.
Meanwhile, resellers listed the thing for $700 and up like they were selling rare Pokémon cards from a dusty binder.
Here's the part that should annoy you more than the scalpers themselves.
Nintendo reportedly limited launch inventory to keep demand artificially high, a strategy that works great for headlines and terribly for actual humans who just want to play Mario Kart with their kids.
Shortages create urgency, urgency creates hype, and hype creates a news cycle that writes itself.
The good news, if you squint, is that the Switch 2 is genuinely a solid piece of hardware.
The upgraded screen looks great, the backward compatibility mostly works, and the new Joy-Con connection feels less like a ticking time bomb.
It's just not "pay a stranger on Facebook Marketplace $200 over retail" nice.
Historically, console shortages ease within three to six months, and Nintendo has already signaled more stock is coming.
Set a stock alert, ignore the FOMO, and let the resellers eat the inventory they gambled on.
Every console you don't overpay for is a tiny vote against this whole miserable circus.
Half of X is posting unboxing photos, and the other half is posting sob stories about refreshing Target's website at 3 a.m. for nothing.
It's a beautiful American tradition, right up there with Black Friday trampling and pretending we enjoy pumpkin spice.
The real test comes this holiday season, when supply either catches up or doesn't.
If it doesn't, expect another round of "Nintendo hates its fans" hot takes, which, honestly, might have a point this time.
Our take: the Switch 2 is worth buying at retail and absolutely not worth buying at scalper prices.
Patience is free, and so is not being a sucker.
Final Thoughts
Let the bots sit on their inventory until the interest charges start stinging.