Tesla started pushing its latest Full Self-Driving build to a fresh batch of owners this week, and the internet did what the internet does: it turned every uploaded clip into a referendum on the entire future of driving.
The update is rolling out in limited waves, which is corporate speak for "we picked the least litigious drivers first." Meanwhile, the rest of us are just out here sharing the road with a computer that occasionally mistakes a stop sign for a suggestion.
For the uninitiated, FSD is the paid upgrade that promises your car can handle city streets, turns, and traffic lights without you touching the wheel.
What it actually does is drive like a nervous teenager who just got their learner's permit and also read one article about assertiveness.
Owners post videos showing it nailing a complex left turn, then immediately showing it panicking at a plastic bag.
The official line is that drivers must stay attentive and keep hands ready to take over at any moment.
Which is a fun way of saying you paid thousands of dollars to supervise a robot that's technically still in training.
It's like hiring an intern and then having to do the intern's job while the intern plays on their phone.
The National Highway Traffic Safety Administration has been poking around Autopilot and FSD for a while now, because nothing says "fun Tuesday" like a federal agency requesting your crash data.
Tesla's response has generally been that the system reduces accidents, which may well be true, and also that drivers are ultimately responsible, which is definitely true in the legal sense and very much not true in the "I was watching a movie in the passenger seat" sense.
Here's the thing nobody wants to admit: the technology is genuinely getting better.
The version shipping now is smoother than the version shipping two years ago, and the gap between "hilarious fail compilation" and "honestly kind of works" is narrowing.
But "getting better" and "ready for your grandma on the freeway" are two very different sentences, and Tesla keeps letting the marketing write checks that the software cashes at 35 miles per hour into a curb.
If you own a Tesla with FSD, you already know the drill: keep your hands on the wheel, your eyes on the road, and your lawyer's number somewhere in the glove box.
If you're thinking about buying the upgrade, maybe wait for a few more software updates and a few fewer headlines.
The car does not care about either. **The bottom line:** Full Self-Driving remains the most impressive and most terrifying thing you can buy for your car right now.
Tesla is inching toward something real, but "inching" is doing a lot of heavy lifting in that sentence.
Final Thoughts
Enjoy the ride, keep a hand on the wheel, and don't be the guy who becomes a headline because he trusted a beta test with his morning commute.