Nintendo finally pulled back the curtain on the Switch 2 this week, and the internet responded with the emotional maturity of a toddler who just dropped their ice cream cone.
Within minutes of the reveal, preorder pages buckled, retailer queues stretched into the thousands, and grown adults started refreshing Target's website like it owed them money.
A bigger screen, magnetic Joy-Cons that hopefully won't drift into the afterlife, and a new Mario Kart that looks like it swallowed a copy of Forza.
Nintendo is calling the launch window "2025," which is corporate speak for "sometime before the heat death of the universe, probably." The real entertainment is watching the resale market metastasize in real time. eBay listings for "confirmed preorder slots" are already floating around at prices that would make a used car salesman blush.
One guy is apparently selling a screenshot of his order confirmation.
And someone will buy it, because this is America and we've decided that patience is a form of weakness.
Best Buy's queue system put people in a virtual line behind what appeared to be the entire population of Ohio.
GameStop, in a shocking twist nobody saw coming, is reportedly requiring a blood sacrifice and your firstborn for a guaranteed unit.
Meanwhile, the actual games lineup is a mystery wrapped in a Direct stream that spent 40 minutes on a Zelda port nobody asked for.
Here's the part where I'm supposed to tell you whether it's worth buying.
It probably is, eventually, once the dust settles and scalpers move on to ruining something else.
But paying double MSRP to play a prettier version of a game you already own is a you problem, not a Nintendo problem.
The smarter play is to wait six months, let the early adopters beta test the hardware, and buy one when it's actually in stock at a store that isn't run by chaos gremlins.
Probably. **The Take:** Nintendo has perfected the art of selling anticipation, and we keep buying it.
The Switch 2 will be great, but the launch circus is a self-inflicted wound we all keep reopening every console cycle.
Final Thoughts
Set a reminder for Black Friday and go touch some grass until then.