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Tesla Roadster Is 7 Years Late And Still Not Real — tesla…
Persona #3 · Vol: 50000
Remember 2017? Bitcoin was a bubble, fidget spinners were cool, and Elon Musk stood on a stage next to a shiny red sports car and promised it would hit 60 mph in 1.9 seconds by 2020. That car was the second-generation Tesla Roadster, and at the time it seemed impossible in the fun way—like a Marvel movie or a politician keeping a promise. Customers slapped down $50,000 deposits (up to $250,000 for the "Founder's Series") for a car that existed only as a concept and a vibe. Fast forward to today, and the Roadster has achieved something truly historic: it's now competing with Duke Nukem Forever for the longest vaporware streak in modern history.
The original timeline went like this: 2020. Then 2021. Then "maybe 2022." Then Elon casually mentioned it would be "worth the wait" around 2023. Then he said production would start in 2024. Then 2025. At this point, the Roadster's release date is less a schedule and more a horoscope. Tesla has quietly removed the car from its website's main menu in some regions, which is corporate-speak for "we're hoping you forget." Meanwhile, the deposit money has been sitting in Tesla's bank account collecting interest like a gym membership you keep paying for but never use.
Here's the thing that makes this so beautifully American: people are *still* excited. Every few months, a blurry spy shot or a cryptic tweet sends the internet into a frenzy. "It's coming!" they cry, like Charlie Brown trusting Lucy with the football for the 47th time. The specs, if they ever materialize, are genuinely absurd: 0-60 in under 2 seconds, a 620-mile range, and a top speed over 250 mph. That's not a car; that's a physics violation with cup holders. But until one rolls off a production line, it's just a PowerPoint presentation with a spoiler.
The competition hasn't been sleeping either. Rivian, Lucid, Porsche, and even Ford have been busy shipping actual electric vehicles you can actually buy. The Tesla Cybertruck finally launched after its own years-long delay, and it arrived looking like a refrigerator that fell out of a window. So the Roadster isn't just late—it's late to a party where everyone already left. By the time it drops, we'll probably have flying Ubers and a colony on Mars, both of which Elon also promised.
To be fair, Tesla has delivered plenty of real cars, and building a hypercar from scratch during a global pandemic, supply chain crisis, and whatever is happening at Twitter/X is genuinely hard. But at some point, "coming soon" becomes "coming eventually" becomes "coming never." The Roadster has gone from an exciting moonshot to a running joke to a piece of automotive folklore. It's the Half-Life 3 of cars.
**The Verdict:** If you gave Tesla $50,000 in 2017 for a Roadster, congratulations—you didn't buy a car, you bought a seven-year subscription to hope. The rest of us will believe it when we see it, and not a second before.